Why? Because I can...

I sighed.
Fuck. Finished off a game again.
Another sigh. That sucked. Really sucked.
Leaning back on the bench I was sitting at, I put aside the Notebook for a second and streched. It really sucked.
I was 18 and all I was doing all day was playing computergames, just because they at least were some kind of a
challenge. The others before me never played such things. But then again, they weren't bored, duh!
There were too many people walking on the streets today, too many of them.
Anyway I called out to one. To be frank, I didn't care who it was who would come to me. All I cared about, that I could
nag a bit. In that way, I was an old bitch.
"Hey, hey you!" Not waiting 'till he or she stopped in front of me, what that person in the end did, I started talking.
I didn't care who it was, I didn't care to look at the face, didn't care to know the gender.
"You know what fucking sucks? Life!" A bitter laugh. "Life sucks and then you die. But wait. It would be great if I could
die, but wohooo! I'm fucking bound to this fucking body until I am fucking 100 years old. Stupid soul protection!" I
glanced at the sky and sighed. "You know how fucking bothersome it is, when you try to kill yourself when you're 4
years old and realize that you can't? That fucking sucks. It fucking sucks. And when you get thrown out of school on
your first day just because you can't take it how simple the teacher tries to explain all of the stuff? It fucking sucks.
Oh, and when you know that love is just meant to turn out bad and don't even try it? That really fucking sucks. And
why all of it? Because they had to give me this fucking too old to be true soul. That soul that's been passed on throught the generations. And with that fucking soul also all that knowledge. It's fucking annoying to know everything
and to be able to do everything."
Sighing, I closed my eyes.
"I should stop saying fuck. I only started saying it to put someone off. But since noone reacts to it, it's just a pain."

(Oh damn, what a fucked up character... xD)

She started talking...to me....and who was she? Did I know her? Don´t tell me I forgot someone...again~
"Errr...ehm...." she used a lot of mean words...like fuck...and fuck...it was kind of depressing to listen to her and seriously I do not need that kind of talking right in this moment...I was frustrated enough for the rest of my embarrassing and shameful life...
I sat down net to her, sighing in frustration.
"You are soooo right....", I said out loud and let my head hang and closed my eyes.
"You know? I stumbled over something in my work and the next thing I knew was that I spilled some acid on a workmate and then my boss discharged me...that was my 10 workplace this month...what should I doooooo...." and why am I talking to a girl I did not even know?!
I was really a hopeless case, the best thing she could do was killing me....or digging a grave for me, since I would be too clumsy to do it myself...I would possibly end up digging a grave for me and then someone else would fall into it....

How depressing. The human started to talk.
I listened to her anyway. What else did I have to do in this frustrating world?
"How depressing. Working, being fired and then having to find another place to work at. That's
why I don't work. I sell drawings and paintings via deviantart and ebay. You have no idea how
many people are stupid enough to buy something like that. For about 5 minutes work I get about
500€ plus the ones the extra calenders and stuff that also give me some money." I sighed and
then streched. "You see, I don't have to work. But still it's annoying."
For the first time I looked at the human. It was a girl, about my age, dark irish red hair, blue eyes.
"You know, if I could do it, then I would just say: A whole life takes too long, let's take a shortcut.
But since I can't it's no fun."
I raised my eyebrows. "Tell me. Is there something I could help you with. If it's too easy then it's
no fun. So please something as close to impossible as possible."
From time to time I just felt like doing something like that. Could be fun.

I buried my head in my hands and then looked through my finger over to the girl next to me.
"Killing me would be nice....or at least helping me so that I am not as clumsy anymore....it really sucks...I am always falling, stumbling, spilling, breaking, crashing things and I think I had till now at least 100 different jobs and I always lost it because I am way too clumsy to be real...I do not even have a talent, I am not bad at doing things, but I am not wonderful doing them too...but it does not matter, every time I try doing something it will end in a catastrophe.....you know? I lost my first job because I accidentally pushed the wrong button and send the fabric flying, just because I stumbled over my shoestring... I lost my 50th job because I did not saw the trash can and I had really dangerous liquid with me....and my 90th job...I accidentally set of the self-destruction of the machine my boss built...I mean I was just standing there and saying the password for the self-destruction and the whole thing went off and imagine...I did not even know it was the password...I mean: "please don´t discharge me" what kind of password is that?! "

Oh great. It started whining.
"Hey. I asked you if there was something I could help you with. Something challenging. I'm really
bored out of my mind right now."
My eyebrows arched. "And by the way, why not just film your clumsiness and become an internet
idol. You sure could earn some money with that. Need help putting up a site?"
I took a look around. Definitely too many people out here on such a day. People were such a bother
Why the ones before me could always be so proud of them being the heir of this soul? They always
used it to help people. So I could at least do something, couldn't I?
"You know, people always love clumsy stunts. If they are for real, then even better. That's about
as popular as blood&violence, puke or boobs."

I sat on a tree somewhere I do not know how I got there....well I can tell you there are just two safe places! One is in the underground and the other one...well you will know sooner or later.
I heard two girls talking, one of them in a quiet dirty way and the other talking nonsense.
"Hey Ladies.", I jumped of the tree and landed in front of them.
Well at least one of them reacted in a way, the other one looked at me quiet annoyed and I smiled as sweet as I could do.
"Onee-sama will help you two!", I sang and sat down between them.
"There are just twooooo safe places my beloved sweet sisters! One is in the underground and the second one is just in my arms! I know I just know you for a feeeeeeew minutes, but I love ya so much!", I hugged both of them.
"Nooooooow~Do ya wanna tell Onee-sama what is wrong?"

There were two options that popped into my head.
1. Use my knowledge of martial arts to find my way out of this freak's arms.
2. Stay put and mentally get rid of the arms.
The first one seemed too much of a pain.
"So you want to know my problem?" I smiled sweetly and softened my voice to a sweet murmur,
that could turn into a poisonous whisper any moment.
"This whole life, everything in this life is worthless. Look around you. How many of those you see,
do you think, are too oblivious to see the true nature of this world. I tell you. Each and every one
of them. Even you. You live without a clue that we have all been destined to do exactly that. Living
without thinking, living to please others. Living without real reason. The thing people call love is
nothing but a chemical reaction, destined to fade out after some time. Jealousy is the only real
feeling that is worth noticing. We know that we are not enough to exit. We know, that the creatures
we are jealous of are more worthy of living than we are, but then again, these creatures we are jealous of
also have a target of jealousy. In the end, all we want is to live, just because that is our instinct.
But in our hearts we know, we are not worthy, we are not meant to live anyway. And when we
actively realize it, Lord Death greets us with sweet whispers of promises, reaching out for us
and carressing our souls in cooling touches. Then we know, that we really did't belong anywhere
but into death's hands. Life is worthless. We are worthless. There is noone who won't realize that. But most of them will only realize it when they die, when they feel the healing balm of
death's touch. I admire those who see the right choice before everyone else. Suicide you call
it. Shouldn't it rather be called disentaglement? They chose to cut any strings that bound them
to this life, that is worthless."
I sighed deeply, but kept up with that all sweet voice.
"How I envy them. Those who can disentangle themselves."

I looked at the girl wit a hint of sympathy.
"Ohhhhhh you poor girl! Onee-sama will heal your heart. Just you believe in your almighty elder sister, dear!", I sang and hugged her with both arms.

Okay...to sum it up. This girl was suicidal and this ehm....other girl...was a freak with a huuuuuuuuge sister complex....
I tried to find my way out of the hug and was relieved as she let go of me, but now she was on the suicidal girl.
"Pl-please let go of her...er...."Onee-sama"...", I begged her and smiled friendly, but when I was standing up I stumbled over my feet and I fell on top of them.
"Oh my god! Oh my god! I am sooooo sorry! I did not mean to! Rea...", I stared at "Onee-sama and froze.

I sighed once again.
"Don't bother yourself. It's worthless to let it bother you." The girl just had tripped.
"And as for you, Onee-sama, do you even think that I have a heart that can be healed?
In any way, shouldn't I be the one to help you, since I am your elder and you have the problem,
and not me? Dressing up as a woman just to fondle some girls seems like some problem to me."
Just because someone with this soul in the past couldn't deal with him didn't mean I couldn't.

I laughed.
"Well it seems like I was discovered...well maybe not really discovered. Ya know, I don´t dress up like a woman because to fondle some girls. Ya know? I do not even have any interest in girls. Aaaaaanyway I am way older than ya think cutie!", I answered and winked at her.
"I have seen aaaaa lot!", I went on, not caring if it was even a bit interesting or not.
"Sooooo Onee-sama loves ya in a sisterly way. It is just my hobby. Maybe one prince charming will come and take me ya know."